god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
