I just cut my nipple shaving
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize