omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
