The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
