I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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