i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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