oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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