Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
