What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't turn off my feet"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
