singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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