i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
