Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
love makes seman taste better
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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