She said her name was "party"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
