we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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