If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
