xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
