problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've blown a few things in my day
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
