yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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