She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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