There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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