Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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