i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
