conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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