omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
