So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
