If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize