Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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