im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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