I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
