You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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