remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
