is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
