I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
