he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize