the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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