You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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