i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
is it fun? or sober?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
