Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
