I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
