The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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