So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
