I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it glows. i had to have it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
