The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
