Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
