So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Farmville is her only friend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
