It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
