i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
