A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
