I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
