Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize