its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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