I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
