he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
