i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
