if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It was confusing and full of hummus
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
