i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
