i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
