I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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