we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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