idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
