I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
